Not What it Seems
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: At the age of five, Kendall didn't really have any friends, especially at the beginning of kindergarten. Nobody in class really spoke to him, aside from the teacher and her assistant. Although he wanted to make friends, he wasn't particularly good at making them. In fact, he had never really had any friends, until James Diamond came along.


**Hey, guys. So, first of all, I'd like to say that this is for the love/hate challenge in the BTR Plot Adoption Forum. I kind of wrote this at the last minute, because classes started, and this semester has been... a lot so far, so I apologize if this sounds rushed, especially the ending. I'll probably go back and edit it, because I feel like it could definitely be better than it currently is.**

**Enough of me ranting, though. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

"Thanks for today," James says as he and Kendall are making their way back to Kendall's house after playing hockey at the frozen lake nearby for a couple of hours. The two boys are walking side by side, cheeks tinted a rosy pink from the bitter cold nipping at their skin. "It was a nice distraction from everything going on at home."

"With your parents?" Kendall questions, turning the corner onto his street.

"Yeah," James says with a sigh. "They weren't in a particularly good mood when I left."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

James shrugs, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. "Same thing as always. It always seems to come back to me."

"You didn't do anything," Kendall says, frowning. He knows fairly well that James' parents don't get along – has known it for quite a while now – but he's never been able to understand why they seem to think that it's okay to make it seem like James is to blame for their endless bickering.

"That's not what they seem to think," James mumbles under his breath. He looks up then, his eyes landing on Kendall's house, which is just a couple of doors down from where they're currently walking. "Race you to your house?"

Before Kendall can even give him a proper response, James is running down the street, his hair falling into his eyes.

"We're not done with this conversation!" Kendall shouts from behind him, but he runs to catch up with him, even though he knows there's no way he'll be able to actually catch up with James.

"I won," James says with a victorious smile as he runs up the steps leading up to Kendall's front door and rests the palm of his hand against its wooden surface. "I beat you, again."

Kendall rolls his eyes at his friend's words, but he's unable to stop the smile that slowly tugs his lips upwards. There was a time when James' remarks would have bothered him – were the main reason he disliked him so much, even – but that was a long time ago. Over a decade ago, to be exact.

* * *

At the age of five, Kendall didn't really have any friends, especially at the beginning of kindergarten. Nobody in class really spoke to him, aside from the teacher, Ms. Wallace, and her assistant. Although he wanted to make friends, he wasn't particularly good at making them. In fact, he had never really had any friends, until James Diamond came along.

Unlike Kendall, James _was_ popular – at least, as popular as a five-year-old can be while surrounded by other children his age. He was the kind of kid everybody wanted to be friends with; the kind of kid that thought he knew everything and everyone like the back of his hand, and he irritated Kendall immensely. He didn't understand how someone who appeared to be so full of himself could be so well-liked by everyone around him.

That is, until he actually got to know James better in a weird twist of fate that brought the two together. At least, it seemed like a weird twist of fate at the time, but really, they had both been invited to the birthday party of another boy from their class. Feeling unsure of himself, Kendall had sat by his mother's side the whole time, watching as the other kids played together. He had desperately wanted to join them, but he had been too afraid to do so – until a little boy with light brown hair and hazel eyes suddenly appeared in his line of vision.

"Hi. Do you wanna play?"

He had stared at the boy in front of him, a bit taken by surprise. He had not been expecting for any of the kids to come up to him, much less the most popular kid in class.

Despite his disliking towards James, Kendall had tried his best to give him a smile, which he was sure looked as forced as it felt, and replied with a quiet "Hi" in return, his tiny hands clutching onto his mother's dress. "I-I guess."

"Great! Come with me!"

If James had sensed his uneasiness, he hadn't shown it. Instead, he had taken ahold of Kendall's hand and pulled him to where a group of kids were running around and bouncing inside a giant bouncy castle. No sooner had his feet landed inside the bouncy castle that he felt his disliking towards James dissolve away, instead being replaced by a sudden warmth and happiness that seemed to wrap itself tightly around his tiny body.

* * *

And now, as he watches James from the corner of his eye while inserting his key into the doorknob, he can't even picture what his life would be like without him.

"Do you wanna have a movie marathon?" Kendall asks once they've made their way inside. "My mom won't be home for a couple of hours," he says as he starts to remove his boots and coat, James following his lead.

"Where's Katie?" James asks, taking notice of the fact that the little nine-year-old is nowhere to be seen.

"Having a sleepover with a friend," Kendall responds, before walking over to grab a box that's sitting beside the TV stand, filled to the top with DVDs. "So, is that a yes to the movie marathon?"

He watches as a smile starts to form on James' face, though he still appears to be a bit distant, as if his thoughts are somewhere else. "Sure, let's do it."

With a smile of his own, Kendall places the box on the beige-colored rug that's in front of the TV and takes a seat. He pats the space beside him then, beckoning James to come over, and waits until James is sitting down as well, before starting to look through the dozens of DVDs stored inside the large, clear box.

It doesn't take long for the box to be practically empty and for the contents of it to be spread around them on the floor.

"Can I tell you something?" Kendall asks all of a sudden, the words slipping past his lips almost involuntarily.

"Sure," James says, clearly unaware of what it is that Kendall is about to confess.

"I–" Kendall swallows hard, his eyes glued to James, who is now staring at him in concern.

"You okay?" he asks as he scoots closer towards Kendall, gingerly reaching out with one arm to rest a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay."

"Iusedtohateyou." Kendall blurts out the words before he can stop himself, ducking his head and moving a few inches away from James when he takes in the look of confusion in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Kendall breathes in sharply, and then lets his breath out slowly, his gaze moving back to meet James' eyes. "I used to hate you," he repeats, this time forcing himself not to look away.

Kendall watches as James stiffens where he's sitting, his hold noticeably tightening around the _Monsters Inc._ DVD he's still holding in his right hand. For a moment, everything goes quiet as James looks away. During those seconds all Kendall can hear is the drumming of his pulse in his ears, until he opens his mouth again, his throat feeling unexpectedly dry.

"I didn't say that to make you feel bad," he clarifies, waiting in anticipation for James to turn to look at him with anger boiling behind hazel eyes, but it doesn't happen.

"It's not like it was a secret," James says after a moment, as he places the DVD on his lap. "I mean, it's not like I didn't know."

"You knew?"

"Yeah. You weren't very good at hiding it."

"But… you never said anything."

"I never saw a reason to," James tells him with a shrug. "We were kids, after all… Why are you telling me this, anyway?"

"Right." Kendall lets out a shuddery breath, his hands tightening into fists on his lap. "I used to hate you," he repeats, "before I knew you. At least, I think I did. I mean, I _was_ five…"

"Okay… Why _did_ you 'hate' me?" James asks, raising his hand to make air-quotes as he says the word "hate."

"I thought you thought you were better than everybody else."

James seems to think over this for a moment, his expression unreadable, before asking, "Why would you think that?"

"I guess you just gave off that kind of vibe."

"You do realize you're saying that about a five-year-old, right?" James asks, his gaze finally falling on Kendall's. Kendall is surprised to see a smile present on his face, rather than anger.

"Listen, these aren't present me's thoughts; they're five-year-old me's thoughts."

"Alright. Go on, five-year-old Kendall."

Kendall rolls his eyes at James' words, but he can't help the smile that slowly starts to creep its way onto his face. "I used to think you were selfish and self-centered. I didn't really realize that that wasn't the case until I really got to know you."

"I still don't understand why you're bringing this up now…"

"I'm saying this because you're a great person, James," he says slowly, "and anyone who's ever taken the time to know you can see that, including me. I may have thought the opposite at first, but… you're nothing like the kind of person I thought you were."

At Kendall's words, James turns to look in the opposite direction, but before he does, Kendall takes notice of the way James' face scrunches up tightly, as if in pain.

"James…" He reaches forward, but before his hand can come into contact with James' arm, James stands up abruptly, causing Kendall to flinch back in surprise. "I'm sorry if what I said–"

"It's not you." James' voice is slow, almost a whisper. It almost sounds like it hurt him to say the words out loud. "It's not anything you did, or anything you said."

"Then? What is it?" Kendall questions as he moves to stand up as well. As soon as he's standing on both feet he moves to stand in front of James, his hands moving to grab ahold of James' wrists. "What's wrong?"

When James looks up at him, his eyes are glazed over with tears and his lips are quivering. The sight alone makes Kendall want to pull him into his arms, to tell him that everything's okay, but he's not sure that's what James needs right now.

"It's just that… if that's true, then why can't they see that?"

"Frankly, I think they're just looking to put the blame on someone that isn't themselves," Kendall tells him slowly, his hold on James' wrists loosening. "You're not any of the things they say you are, and you aren't to blame for the struggles that they go through."

"It's hard to believe that," James says, his lips twitching, as if he's trying to smile but can't bring himself to do it. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for," Kendall reassures him as he wraps an arm around James' shoulders, pulling him to his side. "Do you want to talk more about it? Or would you rather just watch a movie?"

"Frankly, I just want to forget about this whole thing. At least for the time being."

"I understand, but if you want to talk about it I'm here, okay?"

"I know. Thank you."

All of a sudden, Kendall finds himself being pulled into a hug. He sways on his feet for a second, before regaining his balance and wrapping his arms around James' shoulders. "Anytime," he whispers as James starts to pull away and moves to grab the DVD he had left discarded on the floor.

"Can we watch _Monsters Inc_. first?"

"Anything you want."

James smiles up at him gratefully – the first sincere smile he's shown him all day.

"I put in the movie, you make the popcorn?"

"Sounds like a plan," Kendall says, before turning on his heels and making his way towards the kitchen.

It's not even thirty minutes into the movie that Kendall feels a sudden weight fall on his shoulder, and one look to his left confirms that the weight happens to be James' head. Careful not to awaken him, Kendall grabs a blanket that had been left on the couch by Katie the previous night and drapes it over James.

"Sweet dreams," he whispers, before turning his eyes away from James and back to the movie playing in front of him.

* * *

**Again, I'm sorry for how rushed this is. I hope it sounds okay, regardless of how fast-paced the ending was.**

**Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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